Moving on

It's contagious

I've shared many times in the history of this blog about my battle with fear. As I learn to walk in freedom I've seen many changes in my life. Some days though fear finds a little foothold and the battle is on. To be honest it's exhausting. It's so tiring and honestly discouraging to keep battling the same enemy! And believe me, fear IS my ENEMY! The other day I was having trouble pulling myself up so I called a wise friend of mine who let me in on a little secret. I am thrilled to share this secret with you because I'm finding it to be life changing!

She told me that when I feel the fears begin to take hold I need to stop everything and begin to worship the Lord for who he is! She reminded me that the enemy hates it when the Father receives our worship and flees. She said I could ask the Lord for a song that would be just for me to sing when I feel the fear start to take hold of my life again.

So I asked.

It took a few days but I know exactly when the song started playing in my head.

For your glory

For your kingdom

For your name O Lord here I am.

It was hard at first. Hard to push the fear down out of obedience to the Father and worship him for being in control of my life. For remembering that I'm his bride and he has me safely in the palm of his hand.

The song started playing in my head ALL the time!

It's changing the way I do things.

The way I live my life!

It's a song of SURRENDER!! The word I've been trying desperately to learn!

While I'm making lunches in the morning... FOR YOUR GLORY...

Folding laundry in the afternoon... FOR YOUR KINGDOM...

Correcting and instructing my children... FOR YOUR NAME O LORD

Serving my husband... HERE I AM!

God is always amazing me! Not only did he give me a song to sing to help me keep my focus on HIM and NOT on fear but he gave me a song that shifts my focus on everything! I've always struggled with negativity or feeling unappreciated. This song helps me remember that serving my family is for HIS glory, for HIS kingdom! It's my calling and my great honor to be used in my home as a servant for the Lord!

And you know what????

IT'S CATCHING ON!!!!!

My husband comes home to a happy wife, a clean home, a big kiss at the top of the stairs... and HE starts having a better attitude.

My kids see us playing, laughing, cleaning up the dishes after dinner, side by side... and they're joyous, giggly, and truly more happy to be obedient to please their parents.

As I watch my husband melt and his own bad habits begin to dissipate I again am encouraged at how faithful God is and I work harder at MY role as a wife... which leads to MORE contentment in my children and the cycle continues...

THAT'S a cycle that I LOVE participating in!

a story about friendship

Over the last 4 months people have asked me how Jeanne, Becky and I got to be so close, so quickly. I have a theory about this but first want to give all the glory and thanks to God for our friendship because I KNOW that these girls are a gift from God! I KNOW it's part of His plan of redeeming ALL parts of my life! When I met these girls I was broken inside. God used these friends to remind me what it is to belly laugh.

The story starts with Becky and I. I admire Becky so much! What you see is what you get with her! I feel completely safe in my friendship with her. Becky and I arrived much earlier in the day than Jeanne. It was pouring rain outside so we just sat in the hotel room and talked for hours. It was like I had known her forever. (I think it really helps that I've followed these girl's blogs because we had so much we could talk about and relate to.) Anyways, Becky and I decided to go out to eat before Jeanne arrived because of the time change we were starving! We laughed and laughed over dinner.

This is my favorite part of the story because Becky is just Becky. True blue, wonderful Becky.

Jeanne was still a couple of hours from arriving when we got back to our room. Becky decides that she just wants to be comfortable so she proceeds to take off all of her makeup, put on her jammies and pull all of her hair up into a knot. I mean this in a completely respectful way and in deep admiration of my friend. "What kind of girl does this?" We know how we girls are. We're competitive. It's more important for us to impress other girls around us than men! Well there I was in sitting on the bed in full make up, hair done (and if truth be told- even had wondered if I should touch myself up) Well, once becky got all comfortable I certainly didn't want to be the stuck up girl with the glowing halo of perfect hair and makeup while sweet, wonderful becky met Jeanne in her jammies. So I had no choice. Off came the makeup, up went the hair, and I slipped on my jammies.

So when beautiful Jeanne arrived (with enough luggage for 2 weeks in tow-hee hee) we were all cozy in bed and giggling like 2 eight year olds. And this is why I think we bonded so deeply. All pretenses were stripped away, no one was there to impress, and when you're in your jammies with not a hint of makeup on, and your hair is pulled back you're not worried about what someone else will think of you. You've taken all of that stuff off. It's just you. The real you. So it was super easy to just be us and get right to the "deep stuff." There was no small talk, no trying to impress, no trying to one-up the other. Just 3 girls who were able to be who they really are and totally and completely accepted for it.

One more quick story:

Jeanne and I talk to much~ WAY to much and Becky was constantly scolding us to get some sleep. So one night Becky got her wish and Jeanne and I were actually quiet for once. That is until Jeanne couldn't take it anymore and said, "is anyone still awake?" So Becky looked at Jeanne and Jeanne said, "I just really love you guys!"

These girls taught me to laugh again! And laugh we did! Becky even had to change her cell phone plan because she went way over her minutes because of us girls. I can NOT WAIT for them to come! Can't wait! Watch out Seattle! Here we come! YIPPEE!!!!

Today is my blog's one year anniversary

As I was puttering around in my yard today I was thinking about the last year. It's true that you never know what a year will bring. I still have a lot of growing to do but there are a couple of things that I now know for sure!

1. I LOVE being a stay at home mom. It's my calling. I used to think that I needed to be something more, something *big* as if somehow that would make me important. Now I KNOW that there is nothing that makes my life more fulfilled than serving my family.

To me serving my family does not mean giving up my life to fulfill every one of their desires. In fact the things I do to make our home cozy, pretty, welcoming, etc. give me great joy as my family is blessed by it! I LOVE to make a pretty bed or light yummy candles. Today I spent the entire morning planting rosemary and primroses in my pots as an early sign of spring. Yesterday my husband returned home from a business trip to a wonderful, smelling house because something was simmering in the crock pot. These things are not chores to me. I actually catch myself smiling as I putter around the house or yard.

2. I KNOW with all my heart that there is NOTHING that saves like prayer. I have spent countless hours over the last year in prayer. Many times I didn't even know what to pray. Sometimes it was just a simple, "help me!" Every time, and I do mean EVERY TIME I would finally lay my down my pride, stop striving, stop trying to control everything and just give it to the Lord I would be amazed at how God would step in. He literally blew me away this last year! GOD ANSWERS PRAYER! Not always the way you assumed it should go but always in the way that is truly best.

3. This is the last and most important thing that has been proved true to me in the last year.

GOD REDEEMS IT ALL! It is not in Him to leave anything unredeemed.

I've watched in amazement how God has turned it all for good! He promises that in the Bible and He continues to prove himself faithful to me. He's restored relationships that have been broken in my life. He's put the joy back into my eyes again. And He's given me new friends- best friends. God doesn't just want to give you what is good, He wants to spoil you with what is BEST! There will always be hard times that come but there is nothing that God can't do!

I'm truly looking forward to what the next year will bring. I can't wait to see what God does with the rest of the story!

Thank you for standing with me! Thank you for your support, friendship, prayers, and encouragement. You've blessed me beyond measure! I love you all!

Facing the Giants

I had planned on putting together a post about never, ever, ever giving up! Sometimes the giants in our lives feel so big and we get so tired. I had wanted to write about letting go of the things that hinder you to run the race well. Then I came across this post today. With tears streaming down my face I watched the video. I could picture Jesus as the coach encouraging me to give it my all as this coach is in the video! I could see him standing by me in the times I want to give up leaning in into me, pouring strength into me with all His might. I could see him shouting, "never give up Lissa!!! Don't you dare give up!" I could see the people around me, watching me as God is teaching me how to be a survivor so that others around me would know that they can be a survivor as well!!!!

But enough about me!!! YOU MUST go to this post!!!

I dare you to be able to sit down and give up after you watch this and read the words that go along with it!

I have found this blog SO ENCOURAGING TODAY! I'm SURE you will too~

I'm weak!

This is just random but I came across this today! This is such a dreamy child's room to me. I wish my whole house had the feel of this airy, white bedroom.

found

I spent the day painting away in the guest room. I truly like this better than my own bedroom. It took me YEARS to figure out my style. Some things I'm still stuck with and just try to incorporate into my decor. I've been very blessed with a husband that lets me sell things on craigslist when I find a replacement but they're are some things that I've still had to hold onto. One of which is my bedroom set. I picked it out the first year of our marriage. It is not my style. The furniture is massive and formal. Then over the years I thought I would try the Pottery Barn look. So I bought dark walnut colored wood with lots of taupes and beiges. I even tried red and orange accents. Does that even sound like me at all? Nope! The funny thing is, when I would clip pictures out of a magazine they always had a white, cottage feel to them. Nothing like the way I was decorating.

When I would think about what look truly appealed to me I would picture white curtains blowing in the breeze, white furniture, a clean uncluttered look that was also quite cozy.

As I worked away in the bedroom I was thinking how fun it would be if I could just use all of my absolute favorite things and get rid of the rest. Impractical I know but at least I'm headed in the right direction now.

I would definitely keep my hutch and table! (it used to be a honey color and is so much more appealing now that it's white!

I would have nothing to fancy or fussy.

Okay~ I'm SO WEAK! I said I was going to wait to reveal the guest room but I just CAN'T. I'm still waiting on closet doors but this is such a dreamy room to me! I just want to take a book in there, light the candles and read. It's actually almost funny how little this room ended up costing me. The furniture was free from a friend. My husband and I just took cans of spray paint to it and then distressed it with sand paper. (It was actually an accident. My husband was sanding to paint and I liked the look so we decided to just leave it be.) It's a tiny little room with no room for a dresser. But I told my husband that if he put a small flat screen tv in there I could live quite happily in this room!

In the last year I was lucky enough to find a white couch on clearance as it was a floor model. I've gone a little overboard with pillows and the cozy throw but to me it looks so cozy and inviting.

So if I could just put together my favorite things this is what my house would look like.

Oh! and with this view! :)

These are my people

I had the great privilege of being asked to be in my cousin's wedding this last weekend. I've shared before about what a wonderful childhood I had. I grew up in an amazing family. My cousins (in these pictures) lived right next door. We went to the same church, same school, swam every day in the summer, laughed together, and if truth be told, acted like ridiculous silly girls pretty much all the time. I don't know if there is a family that likes to laugh more than mine.

We've all been bridesmaids in each other's weddings. Shan was the last of us crazy girls to get married. I so enjoyed being with my girls this weekend. They're the kinda girls that I can just be Lissa with. They did call me a spazz at least 25 times over the weekend. But I am kind of a spazz. Thankfully, I know that these girls deeply love this spazz.

People have started asking why I've been MIA from blog land. If you're new to reading my blog I will share that I've been through a lot in the last year. At times it's been crippling. I've been doing amazing though for the most part which I only contribute to pouring my life into Jesus. But every once in awhile something creeps up on me when I'm least expecting it and suddenly it's like I've been hit by a truck. Everything I went through in the last year piles up on me again and it takes me a few days to recover from the blow. I guess I just figure this is going to happen sometimes. I don't want to blog when I'm in the "bad" place. I want to be an encouragement to girls that are "going through it!" I want God to use me as a blessing.

When I get into the "bad place" I shamefully start listening to the lies that start pouring into my life. The lies that say, "I don't care if you're almost forty, you're not to age and you must look like you're in your twenties for the rest of your life." Or, "You must have big boobs with a tiny waste to be considered beautiful" (sorry, pure honesty here) "You must always maintain a flat tummy" and "sexy is what you see in the movies."

Can I just declare right here, right now.

WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!

And I'm SICK TO DEATH of believing that ANY of these things have ANYTHING to do with beauty. IT'S A LIE THAT COMES STRAIGHT FROM THE PIT OF HELL in order for Satan to steal the beauty from us that God has placed in us.

My sister shared with me that she started talking about dieting in the 2ND GRADE!?!?! There is something wrong with our view of beauty when a little girl is already thinking about dieting. I've been accepting for far to long the world's (satan's) standards of beauty!!! And I want to declare right here, right now that I am no longer willing to participate!!!

Here is the truth!!!

The Bible says that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm made in Christ's image. Am I to agree with Satan and declare that Christ isn't beautiful?

Proverbs: 31:30

Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Do you know where true beauty lies? In your eyes. The Bible says that the eyes show what's in the heart. I don't know about you but I want my eyes to reflect a deep love and relationship with my heavenly Father. When you're "tight" with the Father your eyes will show peace, contentment, love, AND rest. (because you're trusting with all your heart that God's in control, He LOVES you! He wants the very best for you, HE WILL turn every bad situation in your life for good if you let him and GOD THINKS THAT YOU ARE SOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!)

One of the greatest treasures this weekend was getting to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. On a side note, does anyone know how to make this photo not blurry? I treasure this picture with my grandpa and would love to have it in focus. Is there a way to do that?

Aren't they beautiful??

They've lived a long life with Jesus. And they're always encouraging us to do the same. Just yesterday my grandma said to me that even though she's going through some very difficult times that she is just choosing to trust Jesus with her whole life and she KNOWS that He'll take care of her. Isn't she amazingly beautiful?!?! (and classy?)

So here we are at the end of this very long post. :) I don't know about you but I'm going to stand for what TRUE BEAUTY is!! I'm going to fight Satan tooth and nail about this! I'm not going to let him steal from my kids! I'm going to allow the Lord through me to teach them what truly makes them gorgeous! And we're NOT going to support the world and the ridiculous lies that ruin our self esteem any longer.

ARE YOU WITH ME?